The Unbearable Hurt
by LightlyRaining
Summary: Ron and Lavender's kiss from Hermione's point of view. Not all lines from book/movie included, most though. Please feel free to comment, critique, and even just read it! Hope you enjoy :)


**NOTE: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS OR ANY OF THE REFERENCES IN THIS STORY E.G QUIDDITCH. THEY BELONG TO J.K ROWLING**

**I stand in the Gryffindor stands waiting for the Quidditch match to start, but I can't seem to enjoy it knowing that Ron is about to cheat. Why did Harry have to put Felix Felicius in Ron's drink? He did perfectly fine in training, couldn't Harry have just trusted him to do well? I keep shooting exasperated looks at him, but he pretends not to notice. "Hermione, your confundus charm that you pulled off at tryouts isn't anything compared to this is it?" He gives me a lazy smile, and I scowl at him, denying anything of the sort. It was completely different anyway. The entire Gryffindor team starts to walk onto the pitch, and I watch for Ron's distinctive headgear as the whistle blows. I look towards the goals at Slytherin's goal scoring end, and see Ron confidently beaming to everyone in the stands. He catches my eye for a split second, and I look away, embarrassed. Sometimes I look at Ron and I think, "How could I have not noticed beautiful he is before?" How long have I been ignoring my feelings for him? I've been trying to push them away, away to the furthest corner of my mind where I don't have to deal with them. But they kept coming back, so I stopped pushing them away, forever. "Weasley! Weasley! Weasley!" The passionate cries of the people around me snap me back to reality, as Ron's defends yet another goal. I look up at him punching the air, letting out cries of triumph, and smile. This is Ron, and this is why I love him. I start to clap along with the crowd, and join in with their chanting. I don't even care if Ron is cheating anymore, because I know that it's him out there. Not some stupid potion.**

**During the celebration party, crowds of ecstatic fans mob around Ron and lift him onto their shoulders. I can see him nervously laughing, and blushing with all the attention. Typical Ron. I laugh and roll my eyes at his reaction, putting my thumbs up and mouthing, "You were amazing!" Harry stands beside me grinning at his best friend, obviously thrilled with his performance. It has always been Harry as the star, Harry with the snitch, Harry the youngest seeker in 100 years, Harry everything. But now it's Ron's turn, and Harry is happy for him. Ron's fan club slowly put him down so he is level with everyone else, (well, nearly. Ron had a bit of a growth spurt) but they are all looking at someone. I stand on my tippy toes trying to get a better look, only to see a curly blond mass of hair bobbing towards Ron. She stands on a small stool to be up to his height, and leans her head forward. Ron slowly leans in too, closing his eyes. My hearts stops as their lips touch, Ron pulling Lavender closer to him, kissing her harder, Lavender kissing back. I feel limp, and hollow, like all the air has been sucked out of me. Everyone cheers for Ron, including Harry. My eyes start to prickle, and I slowly walk away, pushing past the mass of crowds swarming the Gryffindor common room. I let out a sob, and steady myself with the stone archway. I could be pushed over with a feather right now. How could Ron do this? Well of course you daft dimbo, he never knew you liked him, and he'd never like you anyway. Of course, I'd been hiding the truth from myself the entire time. Ron doesn't, nor has he ever, or ever will like me. I'm so stupid. I should've just stuck to studying, and reading books, and being the teacher's pet. None of this boyfriend, girlfriend, lovey dovey stuff. I start to walk further away from the celebration party, hoping that the further away I get, the less it will hurt. I am wrong, of course. That's new. Knowing that behind me my worst fears are coming true, maybe worse, is far from making it hurt less. Ron, kissing Lavender, everyone cheering around him. Even Harry, my best friend is cheering him on. I feel so…betrayed. I let out another sob, trudging down the ever-moving stairs, and I wipe a tear from my eye. "Stupid, stupid!" I hiss to myself. I get off the flight of stairs and open the stone door to the courtyard. The cool wind whips my face, and I sit down on the steps, burying my face in my hands. My shoulders jerk forward, and I let in a sharp breath, the tears falling from my face. I brush my face with my sweater, the itchy fabric making my face even more red and blotchy than it already undoubtedly is. I hear soft footsteps coming from the flight of stairs I had come down. Great, the last thing I need is someone telling me I'm missing the party. I've only been here for a few minutes! But instead, Harry's face appears. He looks solemn, yet I still feel betrayed. He comes to sit next me, but I move away from him, looking the other way. "Hermione," he says, "I'm so sorry," I look at his face, lit by the soft moonlight of the sky. He was only trying to be happy for his best friend, why should I feel betrayed? He's done nothing wrong. Another wave of unbearable hurt threatens to consume me as I start to cry again. "Harry" I sniff, "How does it feel when you see Ginny kissing Dean?" I've been noticing the way he's been looking at her lately, I recognized the look in his eyes. It's the way I look at Ron. He looks at me in confusion, but I see straight through it. I can't expect him to answer me openly straight away, it's quite an upfront question. "Hermione I don't know what you mean…" He trails off, continuing his confusion façade. "Harry, I'm your best friend, I see the way you look at her," He goes silent, so I rest my head on his shoulder, letting my tears sodden his sweater. He puts his arm around me, and I feel the warmth of his body creeping into my skin. If I had a brother, I'd imagine him to be like Harry. I continue to sob on his shoulder, sniffing, occasionally, still thinking about what Ron and Lavender must be doing right now. "Like this," Came Harry's delayed reply, "It feels exactly like this,"**


End file.
